Saturday, June 30, 2012

To be or not to be...



Since aboriginal times, there has been high decibel hoopla around child bearing and rearing, which is unquestionably an integral aspect of life for any living being. And how much ever we deny, as a matter of fact procreation is our reason to be. Well there may be all sorts of takes on this subject, I am still trying to figure my own standpoint..

From the day a couple gets married, the immediate family starts dwelling on dreams of grandkids, nieces and nephews. And when you hit the 2nd wedding anniversary, (some don't even wait that long) there are hints sent across by parents, friends, relatives and why not, even the house maid has a desire to play with and serve your offsring. Everyone around starts to follow you closely - put on a little weight, you have friends and neighbors hitting you with one single question - 'Good news?'. Hell no!

No, I am not at all averse to procreation; like any other child I figured that God sends a boy or girl on earth and they grow up to make babies...ummm yes found it a little gross initially but soon realised it is indeed true. I've always loved babies, so much so that I could stop in the middle of the road just to exchange sweet nothings with a toddler. And yes they (babies, kids) do like me back, so it is quite mutual. And for a long time I too dwelled on desires to rear a couple of my own. In fact, quite until I got married I was pretty sure of things on this front, but since a couple of years things have taken a tangential shift in my head.
I do have nagging parents and friends who keep throwing the melodramatic reasons saying "the body clock is ticking". Really, why can't I hear it? :-/ When I pondered upon the prospect of having a child, the first thing that came to my mind was, Why? Why should I have children? And the answers were aplenty, like:
  • Kids bring joy and happiness in your lives.
  • They teach you to live and enjoy small joys.
  • They enable you, give reasons to bond with your partner better.
  • They make you better managers and persons.
  • They give you and your parents objective in life.
  • Last but not the least, they become your support system when you grow old and immobile.
So in nut-shell we bring kids into this world for shere selfish reasons, just like some listed above and many more which I cant recollect at this moment. I am not actually saying that there's anything wrong about this natural viscious circle created by God, but I am quite not sure if I am good enough to take up such a big responsibility, of actually creating a living being just to fulfil a laundry list of my own and family's desires.

I may probably give into the pressures of the body clock tickking at 3G speed, as mom says. All I hope is to be able to be a good parent, rearing them to become good human beings and not mere 'ojectives' of people's lives.